Depression

With all these bad things happening around me I started getting depressed. How do I know? Well I hate going out now. I do not have a good laugh with my friends. Even going to the shops is a bloody pain. So I went to my gp and consulted him. He gave me some tablets to take every day at a certain time. Time table is hard work for me but the worst thing was in the leaflet instructions in big letters "DO NOT TAKE THESE IF YOU FEEL SUICIDAL". Likes it! I am already feeling so low about myself what am I going to do after taking the bloody stuff init? Anyway I took one and sat and watched tv. After about half hour I started seeing tunnel vision and felt faint. So lied down and after another hour or so felt good enpigh to walk to the garage and sleep. Stopped taking them and phoned the gp. He prescribed another type of anti-depressant. Took one in the afternoon and by evening I was itchy and scrachy. Man it was like a rash, in my wrists, under the chin, on the chest. Then I started a bit googling and found out that most of this kind of drugs have loads of side effects, which are not very nice; eg. increased heart rate, drowsiness, dry mouth, constipation, urinary retention, blurred vision, dizziness, confusion, and sexual dysfunction. This is what Wikipedia says:
" Clinical depression (also called major depressive disorder, or sometimes unipolar when compared with bipolar disorder) is a state of intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living. Although a low mood or state of dejection that does not affect functioning is often colloquially referred to as depression, clinical depression is a clinical diagnosis and may be different from the everyday meaning of "being depressed". Many people identify the feeling of being depressed as "being blue", "feeling sad for no reason", or "having no motivation to do anything". One suffering from depression may feel tired, sad, irritable, lazy, unmotivated, and apathetic. Clinical depression is generally acknowledged to be more serious than normal depressed feelings. It often leads to constant negative thinking and often substance abuse."
Further research took me to this website called "Depression Understand it, Treat it, Beat it" Its alright and gave me an insight into why I am suffering from it. So I decided to give my GP the boot on this occasion.

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Very far away place called home

Isn't it wicked to blog like this; but when I read other's blogs I feel I am going backwards and all. Well you read todays blog and then you have to back........Just kidding. I have been trying to explain to a friend of mine to understand life's trivia like er..., past which was present, present which is now and the future which is going to be. When you split it up like that, it is very simple init? But try to analyse and present it to another person like this :
*I exist
*I am male
*if I marry a girl
Same day
*if my father marries her daughter
*if I and my wife have a child
*if my father and his wife have a child
After ten years
Well my friend said, "Good but if all the ifs cancel out you can find a solution?"
But I don't have a problem it is the rest of them who have a problem init?


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Outreach is outofreach

This is the way things work for me. Remember last blog I was in high spirit thinking that I will be sorted by at least next week. But Monday came and went no David, my man at Outreach. Phoned the place up got the answer phone. Talked to the machine about my frustration. Wednesday came and went and I phoned on Thursday. I got a female voice who advised me that David has been off ill. Damn. He is off this week as well.
Have you heard about Global Dimming? This is a BBC program about climate change. I remember back in late 70's there was a boffins argument that the Antarctica is getting too fat. More and more water is getting frozen on top of the glacier we already have. So they were theorizing that that if the ice cap get more ice the bottom of the world will get too heavy and that can create a Doppler effect and the spin of the earth will go astray. Then few years later they started shouting about the ozone layer depletion which they knew in 1950's at least. Weird.