11:25 06/11/2007
It is your karma, as the past and the future, you believe in?
Logically I can say it is wrong.
Your logic is unique.
That says the lot
I did say earlier I have started a free course in Tai Chi. I got the first exercise called "Lifting Water". It is good and I felt a difference in my walking immediately. My posture must have been not very good.
The exercise itself is raising my arms up and down to shoulder level with breathing in and out. I felt when I raise my arms and inhale I am letting it go and then when I lower my arms and exhale I am pushing something out. It being something which I am not sure about. I think I should do it as a continuous movement without jerks or sudden moves. Sure if I can do this, with the whole of my life as such, will be a comfort for my body and mind. I will let you know as I proceed with the rest. I ave done the next exercise but not sure about it at the moment.
I had an accident on the 15th last month. I am surprised I did not finger the story here.
It was early evening. My friends Fagan and Kai came to viisit me about half gone eight or so with a bottle of vodkha. We had a few capfuls may two by the time I wanted to have something to eat. So we telephone-ordered three meals from the Somali place in Ashley Road junction. About 9 I went to collect it. I carried the two bags in my two hands and came down the small hill at a brisk pace. All of a sudden I went flying forword in my face as if something took my feet off the pavement. I found myself very shaken lieing on the pavement. I checked I have not injured my face or head. But my right elbow and the left shoulder was screaming with pain. Then I got up. As I was getting up I noticed that the two bags of food were intact but crushed and the carrier bags were twisted at the handles. So you can see I must have flapped my arms when I flew downwords - funny init? Then I found that my ribs on the left side started to throb with pain.
I looked around to see whether someone has put a wire across the pavement for a laugh. But nothing of the sort; I found a metal cover for CCTV jutting out slightly off the pavement. I went home with anger rushing in me. I found I 'ad lost the house keys in the action. So went back and found it bloody right. Got more food and got nicely drunk after. Good night though with pain.
Next day I found that aches and paiin was tolerable enough and decided to grin and bare it. Evening after I had a evening meal about half eight and about 9 settled down to watch Heros in the box. Hey don't tell me I am watching Merican rubbish but I pay the bloody licence and leave me be. I started getting bit of breathless. It is a funny feeling at first. Then I realised that I have severe pain on my left side of the chest and every time I breath pain goes up by a lot more than you can imagine. So after about 10 minutes of this I started panicking. I phoned the local GP's number. The gentleman on the other end listened to me for a few seconds and when I got to chest pain and breathing problems adviced me to call the 999 and cut me off. The panic state went up by 10 fold. I was gasping by now. Got through to the 999. The lady said ambulance crew are on the way keep the front door open and wait. She even said she can stay with me until they arrive. But as those people are too busy I thanked her and said goodbye to her.
They arrived within minutes. The crew was three people one man and two women. The man asked for the toilet and went away. I still don;t know who he was. Send me an email if you know. Sorry I was pre-occupied with my trauma. Straight away put an oxygen mask on. The breathing and the pain went down from about 8 to 4 or 5. Then they got me rigged up to the electrocardio machine and checked me heart. It was OK. Boom Boom my whole being went I remember. Nothing like the fear of death. Was I afraid about death? I could not really remember thinking about dieing at all. I remember other people telling how painful heart attacks can be. That is the only thing which came to my mind. When I realsed after the checking that the breathing difficulty is due to my bruised ribs I was OK. They took me off to the hospital. I thought the guy who wanted to use my toilet was in the Ambulance but he was not there. I only remembered it afterwords. I was in the A&E for 5 hours or so and they checked me heart again and the xrayed my chest. This was done with the oxygen mask on all the time. Boring 5 hours. The Docter said I was alright but got a badly bruised rib and to go home and rest. Then he takes my oxy mask off and the pain started getting worse. I was gasping when I left there. Man what a night.
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