Something practically everyone thinks to do sometime in their lives. As a kid holding your breadth because your mum made you feel stupid. As a teenager looking down into the cold water down a few feet thinking about jumping because the girl in your heart is with a stupid ugly barstard who lives in the wrong end of town. This is very familiar territory for me. I been there a quite a few times.
I knew a guy who used to carry half a dozen bottles of Night Nurse in his samsonite ...............ha remember them the bags the young and trendy used to carry in 1980's. The man is a pound multi millionaire living in Sri Lanka I think at the moment. Well he boasted to me saying that he will drink all the NN in one go and he will die. I laughed. He was about 17 or 18 and it never mattered.
I once had bad flu and two of my mates brought me Night Nurse. So I had two bottles. I was so fucked up without reading the instructions I drank a cupful and slept sound for about 8 hours; mind you are supposed to take a cupful in a 24 hour period. Then I had another cupful and went back to sleep. Half way I was feeling a bit funny; when I shut my eyes I go astral plaining. It was weird but without thinking I took another dose after 8 hours. Then I started going nuts bit by bit. At first it was astral plaining and going to these imaginary places and feeling quite normal as if I am there. I was even talking to other people and I could not understand what they were saying. I even carried pieces of paper with writing on them to show them. Crazy I was. The things went bad as I could not shut my eyes, after spending about a day without sleep. Every time I shut my eyes I go AP. I could go through anything, walls people etc. So this time I went and I could see there are some people down on the ground trying to find me by these gadgets they were moving around. I started to go fast through walls and ended up in a big ware house where there were lots of clothes hanging. Most of them were like net curtains. But I found out that they were cobwebs. I don't like spiders. I loath them. So I opened my eyes immediately and then I saw these red spots which seems to rotate and enlarge flying through the air like little rotors. When they touch a surface like the carpet or the bed spread they become spiders and scuttle away. It was scariest I found in my adult life. I told my friend Steve about it and he tried to convince me that the spiders were spots on the carpet. Man I don't think drinking lots of NN will kill you but the madness will.
Another teenager in 1982 came to my place and told me that he is going to commit suicide. I had a long chat with him drinking the stuff he brought with himself for hours; me telling him that I tried and did not have the guts to do it. He went away and I thought that is that. But I later found out that he jumped off the suspension bridge and was rescued. But he was stuck in the frigging mud so long he died later by pneumonia. It took me years to come to terms with myself , that I did not make that bugger commit suicide.
So what makes one to take one's own life?
From the Samaritans some facts.
"Suicide in the UK and Ireland
1996
The facts speak for themselves: in the UK and Ireland approximately 6,300 people take their lives every year, which is more than double the death toll from road traffic accidents and twelve times the number of deaths by homicide. It is estimated that at least 140,000 people attempt suicide each year in England and Wales alone.
There are no quick and easy solutions to the complex problem of suicide in our society today. But perhaps the starting point is to consider the attitudes that we have towards ourselves and those around us. It is possible to change a nation's point of view. By next year's report, we hope to see the start of a shift in attitudes that will ultimately lead to fewer tragic deaths by suicide."
And please note that
"Repetitions of suicide attempts are common, with approximately 20% of suicide attempters being re-admitted within a year of a previous attempt. Those who have attempted suicide are at greater risk of eventually dying by suicide and the number of repeat attempts made increases the likelihood of eventually dying by suicide. Several studies 6 have shown that approximately one out of every 100 suicide attempters will die by suicide within a year of an attempt, a suicide risk approximately 100 times that of the general population."
According to another boffin
"Factors leading to a suicide attempt may include [3]:
* relationship problems with family, friends, peers - a common
event prior to a suicide attempt is a serious argument with a
significant person
* feeling isolated with no-one to talk to
* alcohol and drug misuse (one third of suicides are intoxicated
at the time of death)
* worries about sexual orientation
* unemployment
* physical and sexual abuse
* being held in custody
* bullying
* exam pressure
* media reports of a suicide of a young person or a famous
personality
* death of a parent, relative or friend
* a broken relationship
* family breakdown
Also watch for
* a diagnosed depressed person apparently feeling much better
(or worse)
* a diagnosed depressed person abusing alcohol and drugs
* delusions, like guilt or shame for an imaginary transgression
* comments about death or suicide
* preparations for death, like giving away sentimental
possessions or writing letters to friends"
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