Milk, Ducks and Foxes

04:22 02/06/2007T

They are trying to find out a way to feed the vegetarian farm animals with meat products. But in the long run this would cause problems. Why?

If my body says eat nuts I eat nuts. But if the nuts are not digested by me I will have diorrhea. I have seen the cow dung of the cattle who eat grass. Unless they have a tummy problem they shit semi-solid dung. But when you observe the shit from the cattle who are fed with the man made feed you see the dung very lose and liquid. I feel there is something wrong here.

I could not digest cow's milk when I was a kid. I used to get diorrhea. So as everyone said that the milk is important I had to teach my system to digest milk. I had lots of health problems. But when I was about 30 I gave up milk. A bit of hard work as I like my milky tea and coffee. But after a few months I did not miss it and after a few years my health problems like swollen and blocked sinus with sore throats disappeared unless I have flu. I rest my case with the statement that you have to give everyone a educated choice in food. Let the creatures big or small decide.

04:03 02/06/2007

I think that the BBC news man is been held by an Israel assisted gang of "freedom fighters" because the man was reporting an unbiased broadcast which the Israelis did not like. The Palestinians had no gripe with the man. But the US, Britain and Israel wanted him shelved for a while. Hope Alan makes it out and later we will know the fucking truth.

I went to this place called Tao Bar in Cheltanham Road and met loads of people from Clifton area whome I have known in 80's. It is uncanny as they all have changed except one guy and I have not changed either. Yeah why change when you are the only one init?

19:02 01/06/2007

I remember a long time ago when I was living in St Michael's Park 1981 to 1987, I was going back home after visiting some friends in Ravenswood Road through Hampton Road. As I was coming to the little hill I noticed a fox on the right hand side pavement. I just walked. I was a bit spaced out. As I walked up the hill I saw the fox go into the St Peter & St Paul school yard. When I reached the fence I saw the fox there looking at me through the fence. I spent about five minutes just looking at the fox sitting there. I did not know what that was about. So I left it in peace and went home. Few days later I told a customer who came into the Spar Shop where I worked about the incident. She told me that there is foxes with cubs living under one of the buildings. So after work I went to the place and she showed me the den.

Since then when ever I go to the Kentucky for my food I used to get extra two pieces for the foxes and go there to feed them. At first the parents would not show themselves. But after a few times they started taking pieces while I was there. This went on for a while and I got evicted from the house I was living as they wanted to demolish it for the university's new bank and shops. I went homeless and slept in rough in various places. One night it was raining and about 5 in the morning and as I had to work at 9 am in the shop I decided not to go back to my favourite places like Lea Woods and sat on a wall next to the shops in Abbotsford road. I was nodding off and I heard a little noice and I saw this fox who came upto me. I held my hand out and the fox was looking straight into my eyes and it was a great feeling. A car came crashing down on the Cotham Hill Road and the fox ran off. Then I saw the fox and 2 cubs playing a few yards away on the Abbotford Road. All of a sudden I realised that this is the same foxes who used to live under that building. The parent fox was showing off the cubs I reckon. It was magic in this world only few of us see in certain times and I am so glad I was one of them.

19:10 30/05/2007

Watching news about the abduction of Madeleine in Portugal brought tears to my eyes. But when I saw the parents - may be they ave the stiff upper lip stuff in them - I could not see any emotions coming out of them. May be the whole media structure has been moderated. I watched the news casts every morning when I wake up at 7.00 am and get redy for breakfast at 7.45 am.

I watched them at the meeting with the Capital C - The Pope - and I thought is this a propoganda for the catholic church. I will not be surprised if the child is returned after seeing the meeting with pope. Now this is written without predjudice and it is pure logic with the ffelings I had at that time of watching these beastly programs. Yeah I know this is needed to keep, the much appreciated, vile deed in people's mind.

15:13 30/05/2007

Today I was going to the library and came out of the front door to come across two birds. One a large pigeon - looked like the leader or scout, most daring kind, and the other slightly larger. Then I saw webbed feet. Ah, a duck, what the fuck it doing in 'ere? And the duck was looking straight at my eyes. It was the most soul searching I ever had, so far. Then I bent down and reached out, with a finger, still with the same eye contact but a bit different, like "Who is this?" Duck went for my finger with the beak and gave it a soft nip more a grab I felt. It was not to hurt as I still had the eye contact. Don't know this is a very deep meaning to me. But logically I cannot explain it. But I know it as if I knew it all the time.

Then when I came back to the hostel the two ladies in the front reception was laughing about the duck incident. I was told that there are two ducks with chicks in the canal next to the hostel and the parent ducks come to the front everyday for feeding. So I came out and the duck thought here comes food. But when I gave the duck my finger what else can it do?

15:34 30/05/2007

What I realise in logical terms can be explained like this.

This is my own universe I live in. Same goes to the rest of living creatures - so far the non- living is not included.

Since I was born, I learned everything from outside. To learn there must be some logic. Where did I learn the logic? From the outside.

When a certain event happens there is time stamp on it. At that instant it happens you see a certain thing. Then after words I analyse it with my logic. Now where does that logic come from? Outside?

If I read the bible or Koran or a mystery noval; I understand it with my foreign logic.

But I think it is my own logic.

Only time my own logic comes into the whole scene is when the incident happens. Not an instant early or an instant after.

I hope that makes you understand, what I am trying to say, success or failure is in your own foreign logic.

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