Letter To The Doctor

I am a selfish person.

I left my parent's caravan when I was 10 or 11 years old. I worked since then. I had Winnie who looked after me until I was 13 years old. I ran away from her and she died during that time and I still carry the guilt.

I have been sleeping the same way from my childhood. I remember waking up - as long as I can remember - with my right side numb as I slept on that side. When I was in my late 20's after a stint in prison I thought of educating myself. I enjoyed it until my back started giving me pain. I gave up my studies due to that. By now I have done two years of a degree in Electronincs which should have been three years.

By 1995 I could not carry on working and I signed on sick. The doctor I signed on is Dr Allen in Seymour Street in Bristol and he still is my Doctor. I realised by 1997 that my back is twisted due to the fact of sleeping the same way over a period of 20 years. I asked for help and I did not get any. So I worked out a exercising system to get my back straight. It is difficult to explain the exercises I went through except that I tried to push the pain bubble I have in any part of my body in and out. I hope you understand.

I have taken diferent medications to kill my pain. The best was Co Proximol which bloody Mr Blair decided to take off the list of medications as he realised he killed that famous Dr, who would have taken the gov out.

Right now I have so much pain I feel like there is not much to live for. So I am taking action towords it. I am too timid to take my own life. So it will have to be a long drawn affair. Planning is on as I write this. I don't think any one can stop me as the plans will not be discussed until the end time.

The problem I have now is that the pain killers prescribed by the Doc is not enough to kill the pain so that I can carry out my exercises. so I have to drink or take some illegal grugs like Amphetamines to do them. So Doc listen: don't try your new drugs on me but give me some which have a proven tract record. What I like you to know is that I live with my problem, and atleast when you are not tired Doc,listen to me like you did when I blew my Didg.

Now I want to talk about the bath. this is something I never had in my childhood. As travellers know, hot water is not on the list of essentails. So it is a simple wash. I got attached to it when I got more into the fa. Fixed Abode. I was a turncoat with my friends in the early 80's but there again I loved the bath. It is the only place in the whole UK where you can get your body into a certain temparature within a given time, and all seasons. So I used that to alleviate my back problems by staying in the bath for a long time in the winter months to do my exercises. Now I find it lacking.

The Housing Association (HA) Rep who introduced me to the current flat said that he will get a bath installed in three months when I visited the premises to have a look around. I had Charlie the Saly Army Settlement Officer (SO) with me. Then when I went to the United HA to sign the contract with the same SO, the rep - fucking cunt David- confirmed. That is official. I lived in this flat over a year and HA did not put a bath in my flat. The HA rep David told me I have to get a letter from my GP to the effect that I need a bath. I did that through Kerry who is my new SO. Then the HA told me through my SO that I need a letter from a Occupational Therapist. So I went to my GP and told him about it and he contacted Occupational Therapist(OT) for me. The OT came and went and they said I need a bath. So far I have nothing towards my bath. My only aim is to get my back into the middle where I was born with. Not much to ask I suppose; well I am the one who is living it init?

The moral of this fracas is that there are soooooo many cooks most of them are 'jobsworth' as they don't want to be responsible. Now I am responsible for my own problems I know. Let me do the essentail so that others can live properly.



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